-I'm trying not to look to the right or left....trying not to compare...but to just run my Race the best I can...It helps to have a Word to cheer me on.

+ For years….most of your life….you have been hindered and attacked by the enemy of your soul who has attempted to crush and destroy your ability to live out your identity in freedom. You have been like a horse at a race – jittery – confused – set against opponents – (most of all) set against yourself.  A sense of worthlessness…of not measuring up….of being on the outside looking in, has plagued you, weakened you, left you feeling unable to function in the gifts that are yours.  I have come and have been with you….in you…through all the years.  Little by little, the chains of lies have been broken off of you. The bridle put in your mouth by the enemy of your soul has been removed. Now, blinders have been lovingly placed on you, focusing your eyes on your race and on the single goal…the finish line…your Father’s Smile!  Now you see Him beaming at you…shining over you as you run.  The race brings you Joy, not anxiousness or fear of failure because you know that the Spirit is empowering you to run with ease and great freedom. No longer are you whipped and lashed into submitting to the lies of the master of this earth. He has been fired!!! Disenfranchised!  You are no longer his property. No, you belong to the High King of Heaven and earth, Who created you to claim the victory He won for you. Now, when the trumpet fanfare sounds, you no longer cringe and feel the bridle of all your inadequacies choking you…disorienting you…rendering you ‘less-than’.  Now, the trumpets sound and they declare to your soul and spirit, the glory that indeed you can do all things through Him Who strengthens you. That means, you have the strength to be who you were created to be and nothing can hold you down or back. The Son has set you free indeed and now you run with eyes focused and glory in the feel of the wind on your face and the sound of angels cheering you on!! At last you can run your race for all you are worth (that would be the price of Calvary!) as you feel your Father’s shining eyes focus on you. You belong to Him. He paid top dollar for you and He has set you up for victory….given you the best feed - His Word and the most successful trainer - the Holy Spirit – Who has taught you and continues to teach you everything you need to live fully and freely in Him. This is the way the kingdom comes to earth... you running your race full out…living in the freedom and love that was purchased for you. Praise your Father as you live each day in His love.

-Lord, last night, I dreamed I couldn’t find my former friend. You know the pain and deep sense of loss and betrayal…the feeling like he never could have really loved me…the times when he hurt my feelings so deeply. The memories rise up to give credence to the thought that I was a convenient distraction in his life... nothing more. This rejection really hurts. I so want to write to him and tell him so. Wouldn’t this fall under “speaking the truth in love” ? Perhaps he has no clue that he has broken my heart. What do You say Lord?

 

+You already know the answer my little one. Do I present you with a laundry list of the ways you’ve hurt and disappointed Me? or do I consciously reapply the shed blood of Calvary to your sins and drop them in the sea of forgetfulness?  Did the prodigal son’s father greet him with a memo of the ways his departure broke his heart or did he run to him…robe in hand…to cover over his sin and fallen state?  This, my beloved girl, this is the heart of Calvary. This is the hardest thing to do but it is the best. No, you cannot summon up the strength to do this yourself, but here is where you experience the mighty empowering that is yours for the asking. Once you have truly forgiven this dear friend of your broken heart, it will be as though he never hurt you at all. You are the one who must act…now…while the wound is fresh and the tears are not dry. You are the one who gets to choose this day who you will serve, the God of Love Who forgives the worst sinner and washes him clean or yourself?  Do you hug these injuries to your self, allowing them to continue to do damage to your heart, making you bitter and cynical (that’s what happens to unforgiven hurts) or do you hold them out to the light of My Grace and allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse you and wash you clean. This choice is the eternal choice. Choose life, my love….choose Love. Choose to forgive and forgive and forgive. Harbor no ill thoughts. Do not envy or withhold the love in your heart as a punishment. When you belong to the Father (and you do…completely) your only response to this kind of injury is the same love shown you on Calvary. There is no other way that leads to life and wholeness. Lay it down, my love and feel the mantle of peace and freedom cover over you and heal your heart. I know this isn’t easy, but it’s the way of life set before you. I have gone before you…shown you the path for your life. This leads to joy and freedom…Rest in me and trust your cares to the One Who will never ever leave you or forsake you. Forgive from your heart now and then choose to rejoice in the God of your salvation. This is a recipe for gladness. Be glad!

      

- Lord….Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed. There seems to be so much pain and loss spinning all around me....calling out for help....filling me with confusion and guilt and a sense that there's nothing I can do that can make a difference. At the end of the day, I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much that means anything. I do want my life to count. Speak to me.


+  I will teach you how to rest. I will teach you how to be you! Only I can do this, but it is why I came. The enormity of all the suffering in the world closes in around you and you feel your helplessness. What can you do? Do all the little things I ask you to do. You can only be effective as you fully live in the Love that paid the price for all of this suffering. You do that by keeping your mind and heart On ME and by cultivating a spirit of joy in everything you do. You don’t have to feel the joy to initiate it. It is the by product of time with your Father….time with Me. Here is where you gain wisdom that overcomes all the questions that remain unanswered. Here is where ONE THING is needed. It is always about ONE THING…REDEMPTION….and redemption has been given to you, free of cost. What do you do with this gift? How does it manifest itself in your life? Have you sold everything and purchased the field of freedom? Do you understand the enormity of what this ONE THING means for each moment of your life? This one thing is the reason for the praise that is on your lips. It is the foundation for and the true purpose of your life. Stop worrying about everything. Focus on the ONE THING. Sit at My feet and rejoice in who you are in Me. Let Me lift all the unnamed feelings of desolation (applied to your mind and heart by the master of deceit). Let me wash you clean and set you on your feet and lead you to the place of restoration….the green pastures….the restful waters of My Heart. Be still. Let not… let not your heart be troubled. Trust…trust in God. Lean on Him with everything you are. Commit yourself to Him. Trust that there is nothing impossible, even about you (that too is a lie designed to keep you in chains!). So, get up. Put your dancing shoes on. Grab your partner (that would be Me) and dance your heart out this one day. This one day is yours to give back in joyous thanksgiving to your Father. Let Him know how grateful you are for all His lavish gifts. Give Him all your cares… in trust….in hope…in confidence and leave them in His keeping. Certainly, you already know you can do nothing to change the things that cause fear and worry. Cast fear and worry off! Let them drop in the sea. Come and put on My Yoke, which is easy and not burdensome. It is for LIFE …abundant…joyous….radiant….praise-filled life that I came. So....the best thing, the one thing you can do to combat all the pain you see around you is to be your Father’s daughter this day and spread His radiance and His Love everywhere you go. As for everything else …leave the rest to Him. “Taking up your cross” means embracing the fullness of the life your God has blessed you with….walking in the unfettered freedom He has ordained. It is believing that the One He sent and the One Thing He wants for you is right this minute completely yours. Say yes to your life this day. In Him, you cannot be yes and no…only yes. Soak in this Love throughout this day and be overwhelmed by Me....This one thing will magnify all of your blessings and help you bring My Love to a hurting world. Rest and enjoy being you.

           

           

- I can't believe how humble God is.....He takes all the ways I ignore Him and slight Him and refuse Him.....and, like a relentless suitor,
He keeps on pursuing me......Who is this God Who keeps exhibiting such boundless love?



”You drew me with cords of a Man, with Hands of Love, and you were to me as One Who lifts up and eases the yoke over my cheeks, and You bent down to me and gently laid food before me”  Hosea 11:4

 

+This word declares to your heart, soul and spirit Who I am for you…Who I will always be; One Who draws you to Myself. You come to Me only because I draw you with cords of a Man…My only Son…Who stretched out His hands of Love to all mankind that we might be reunited.  This is the Love that bends low to you continually.  I am always near you, in your very being.  I am the One who bends low and lifts up and eases every yoke over your cheeks…the yoke of injury, of intimidation, insecurity, fear of man, disappointment, measurement, weakness, loss and failure. I lift it over your cheeks, remove the heavy weight of it that has constricted you and restricted your freedom.  It is gone forever, replaced by the easy yoke of the Spirit, Who lightens your step and leads you in paths of righteousness, of joy and productivity, of freedom and deliverance.  Unhindered by the yoke that has kept you bound; now you are ready to fully run your race, unmindful of the races or positions of others.  You are out to run your best race and I give you food to empower you to endure and finish, crowning you with the victory mantle. Actually, you are already crowned. This is one of the joys of My Kingdom.  You have already won. Victory is assured! This changes the tenor of the race as you run.  You have already obtained the crown; the beauty and goodness of My Son in you…on you…for you…with you.

          So revel in your freedom this day and every day.  This is not a matter of feelings, but of the Spirit.  This is My Word which is true and which actually accomplishes this truth in you, for you.  The Holy Spirit in you causes you to will and to act according to My Good pleasure.  So, no matter what you are feeling, you have access to complete joy and abundance, to absolute victory over every enemy of your spirit. My own Hands of Love have accomplished this for you…removed the yoke of the enemy’s power upon you and set you in a bountiful place of freedom and boundless, enduring, powerful Love.  Love with My Love today. It will never fail you. This is how you draw others into the same freedom you have been blessed with. So, live in gladness, out from under the yoke. Taste the food gently set before you…the Word that is in your mouth, sweet to your spirit. You shall say with all the saints, “Your words were found and I ate them; your words were to me a joy and the rejoicing of my heart, for I am called by Your Name O Lord, God of hosts.” This is your heritage, my beloved. This is why I drew you and continually draw you to Myself…that your heart may know the joy and rejoicing of heaven, right now, through all of your days.  Selah.

- I love the story of the woman with the issue of blood. She must have dealt with loneliness (being considered unclean) and depression (having been unwell for so long). How great that she overcame the inertia and fear and went for the whole nine yards (about the size of a hem)....ahem! I know....bad pun!!!

"As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. "Who touched me?" Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you." But Jesus said, "Someone touched me. I know that power has gone out from me." Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet.  In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
Luke 8: 42-48

 

+The woman with the issue of blood represents all my wounded and bleeding children.  What is it that drains life out of you?  What is it that has kept you isolated – in shame – unclean – unacceptable – dying?  This is what I came to heal…the lifelong issues of pain and woundedness that seem to plague you forever. This is what I came to heal once and for all.  My Power has gone out from Me to you to remove every last vestige of this sense of loss. What you must do is focus on Me the way she did. She ignored what anyone thought. She braved scorn and derision. She pushed through her fears and sought one thing….the power of God to heal.  This power has never changed.  Like Esther touching the staff of the king, you are called to be empowered.  I want you to receive what is rightfully yours. Be resolute in your heart and believe that My Power is for your complete healing.  Every wound, every besetting sin and weakness, every loss, all have been covered over by my blood.  How ironic that My blood had to be shed to set the legacy in place.  So ever…as I have told you many times…look neither to the left or right (at the seeming wholeness of those in the crowd). Keep your eyes on Me….and not just my hem, no, yours is a robe like Joseph’s, a robe of favor and promise…wrapped around you for your healing and sense of destiny.  Not just my hem but all the power that raised Me from the dead…yes…is at work in you and it shall complete God’s purpose to make you whole.  Come then, beloved one, and don’t think of the years that pile up or the disappointments that have surrounded your efforts.  Instead, come to Me.  My arms are open wide.  Come and rest and trust in My perfect, perfect love for you.  You have all you need. You may rest and continue blessing your Father by being docile to His plan and perseverant in your call.  Take each step before you.  Seek love and celebrate the freedom and healing and power that is yours. Do not look back.  Do not fret.  Let NOT your heart be troubled. Instead, rejoice now in the goodness and majesty of the God Who loves you…Who created you for Himself and Who will not…can not….fail you.  You are His treasure. Believe it!

The Beginning:

I decided to start with an entry from the summer of 2010 because I feel it truly was the first day of the rest of my life. It's the logical place to begin my blog.

 -Well Lord, here I am, bowing before You for the gift of life.  Sunday morning (1am) I woke up and almost died with an allergic reaction to something.  I did think I was going to be with You .  My throat swelled, as well as my tongue, my chest, my hands and feet. In a very short period of time, my breath was being choked off and I started losing consciousness. The ambulance took me to the hospital and they saved my life.  I felt so sorry for poor Gary, my poor love, having to suffer through the fright of it. And here I am…still on this side of life and I ask you Lord - in deep gratitude for rescuing me - what have you saved me for?  What is there that I must complete? Guide me. Speak to me. Help me remember the joy I had of being unafraid (that was a surprise to me).  My life is in Your Hands, oh Lord. Indeed, I belong to You. Let me live each moment with this as my understanding and motivation.  Ever and always, it is about learning to love like You do…in and through Your heart.  Thank you, Papa, for this life which you have extended. Show me what you want me to do. Empower me to do it with everything I am. 

+ This experience I allowed you to have was for several purposes. One, to remind you in a very concrete way, how quickly your life on this earth can end – how fleeting are the days – how fragile and how finite your time is in this world.  I also want you to operate in a greater freedom. When you are close to death, you are certainly not worried about what anyone thinks. Remember that feeling. You actually live (all of humanity does unwittingly) on the threshold of death every day. Each day is a gift. Each day could be rendered your last. Love with this sense of urgency and appreciation and live your life to the full. Pull out all the “stops” ... all the self conscious ways that impede the full-out radiance I have called you to. Sing your life for all you are worth (and what you are worth is the death I died to give you this freedom). So, renounce all petty hurts and naggings.  Let go of all expectations, both of yourself and others. Focus your gaze….fix your eyes on the Joy of your salvation, the Father, Who loved you and loves you so much that He was willing to pay the highest price for you so that, because of this sacrifice on your behalf, you are free to live each day filled to the brim with this perfect, made-for-you…fit-to-size Love.  Your Father created you with a Destiny and He has kept you on earth to enjoy living it out.  Live in constant, continual gratitude. Give your Papa’s Love away. There’s an unending supply. Love all who He brings into your life. Love, love, love and cast all your concerns …all concerns on Him. Everything about you has been addressed and made new by the shed blood on Calvary. So sing your freedom like a bird in the tree and praise your Heavenly Father Who loves you and sings over you….Who heals your heart and your body and your soul….Who strengthens you in your inner self to live a life of valor and might….every step you take- ordered and blessed.  You have been given the Kingdom…God’s favor and blessing. Live in high praise and consistent joy.  Enjoy the Holy Spirit, Who lives within you to help you with every move you make…every breath you take. This is what redemption is all about. It is the best love affair…designed to mold you into a vessel of God’s Presence for all you come in contact with. Bless everyone with all that is in you. This is why you were kept on earth for a little while longer. Bring heaven to earth. It is your high and holy calling. Love in the Spirit’s anointing in all you do. Rejoice, oh highly favored child of the King – bride of the Lord. The Spirit will enable you to be all that you can be. Stay low…remain humble…Taste continuously, the sweetness and goodness of the Father, the Lord your God. . He will continue to bless the work of your hands and heart. Believe in His plan no matter what it looks like. This is His way …foolishness to the world …wisdom to the wise. You have been completely protected and kept safe by the Hand that made you.  Rest always in this Love that loves you so.  Do not doubt. Do not fret. Rejoice. Your prayers …all of them … are being answered.  Peace.  
 

“Accordingly, God in His desire to show more convincingly and beyond doubt to those who were to inherit the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose and plan, intervened with an oath.

   This was so that, by two unchangeable things (His promise and His oath) in which it is impossible for God ever to prove false or deceive us, we who have fled to Him for refuge might have mighty indwelling strength and strong encouragement to grasp and hold fast the hope appointed for us and set before us.
    Now we have this hope as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whoever steps out upon it – a hope that reaches farther and enters into the very certainty of the Presence within the Veil…where Jesus has entered in for us.”
                                                Hebrews 6: 17-2

Introduction:

I have kept a journal all of my life, but it was always about getting my thoughts down on paper, primarily those regarding my relationship with God and life. Seven years ago, I took a course at my church about experiencing God by listening to and writing down what we felt He was saying to us*.  At first, we all felt insecure and unsure about what was “me” and what was God. However this course encouraged us to work through the doubts and just write, believing that God will speak because “He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow,” and because there are many records over the centuries of God’s communications with man.

It’s been seven years now that I’ve been writing down what I feel God is saying. He has encouraged me, helped me, corrected me and comforted me.  It’s been a most powerful journey of faith.  Over the years, I’ve shared various entries with friends who told me how blessed they were by them…..how they felt like God was speaking intimately to their hearts through them. Some of my friends have copied them and passed them to their friends and the response has always been the same.  I have one friend who copies them and gives them out at a prison and the prisoners have told her that they felt God knew what they were going through and was speaking just to them.

 For these reasons, I have decided to create a blog and go public with some of these journal entries. If these words can bless even a few people, this blog will serve its purpose. As a side note: I want to make it clear that I’ve hesitated to do this because the last thing I want is for readers to think that I think these writings reflect something special about me! I believe with all my heart that God is ready and willing to speak to each one of us. He has given us ears to hear…sometimes we just need to trust  how ready He is to speak to us and how real and approachable He is. Perhaps this blog will inspire others to venture into their own time of listening and writing down His Still Small Voice. I pray that it does.

*If anyone is interested in doing this for themselves, a great resource for learning how to hear God's voice is Four Keys to Hearing God's Voice by Mark and Pattie Virkler .